Embarrassing situation averted. My neighbour and his cows didn't materialise and apparently, I have his his bulls to thank. They deserted the heifers and escaped into the road on Wednesday evening, demolishing one of his fences into the bargain. He obviously thought that he wouldn't risk them in my little field after all

So I was wrong about the weather yesterday .. so very, very wrong. By lunch time it was 26 degrees and humid with a burn time of 2½ minutes. So we all ventured out for our picnic with the promise of music and some beer into the bargain.

Gor Blimey can't the natives pack the booze away. Now I have attended a shed-load of festivals in my time - that misspent youth rearing its ugly bonce again - but boy what an eye-opener this was.

There were lots and lots of varieties of beer on offer, some of them passable designer jobbies, and some of them not even remotely fizzy or cold, but Joe Bloggs wanted what he always drank... his Speights or his Lion Red ... and lots of it.

And the music Three bands playing mainly cover versions or just not-very-good original stuff and then a fourth that were brilliant and well worth the wait. The only time there was any life from the crowd, however, was when somebody played a Crowded House tune. Suddenly, there was life! They knew the words and fairly shouted them at the top of their Lion Red fuelled voices. Oh and the clothes .. did I mention the fashion sense

We left early to avoid the obviously brewing aggro.
The police were in their element! They just set up a road block at about 7.30 and waited for the drink drivers. The whole afternoon was an Anthropological thesis in the making

So, today, I took out any inhibitions I may have on a great big pile of tree branches. There has been a 7 foot pile of them in our field for nearly a year. I started the fire at 10am and still it burns, 14 hours later The kids and I fair flew around the place adding 7 more trailer loads of cuttings and separating out firewood for next Winter. Blimey it was hot. In my excitement I completely forgot to warn my neighbour of my impending conflagration and she had to rush out and remove her washing from the line. Did I mention that all the smoke and heat was heading directly for her timber framed house? Another minus point in the neighbourliness stakes. I had a Fire Permit and I wasn't afraid to use it.

Now I am off to my pit. I'm knackered