She's Not Herneschase... shes a very naughty girl

I have just discovered, quite by accident, the website
http://www.lapdauthors.com

Why, oh why? What do they write about? Perhaps I should investigate. Unfortunately I can’t tell you any more cos I never got past the “Police Gifts” pages!!!

So this is what a US Police Office does on his day off! Obviously, they're not content with a day of donut-eating and chasing bad guys (or did I watch too much Strapsky and Crutch as a child?). They come home after a hard day's crime-fighting to play with their miniature police officer models, toy police cars (my favourite being the "Erector" remote-controlled police car) and their wives dressed in the Officer Naughty WPC outfit!!!

My personal favourite was listed amongst the Police Clothing Gifts – the black T shirt printed on both sides with the words “Psyche Ward” Nuff said!

PS: who was policing the Police demo' in London today? Good luck boys you'll need if you are trying to squeeze money out of old Gordon!

So tell me. What posessed the Scots to choose a thistle as their National emblem? Yes, it is quite a pretty colour, yes it is relatively regal looking but I tend to think this is because I was conditioned to think of a thistle as Regal... until today.

You have heard me rattle on about my ragwort and the continued battle therewith. It is certainly a smaller crop this year than it was last but the thistle

Our predecessor was obviously either blind or an enthusiastic collector of weeds

... Oops sorry I am not supposed to call them weeds anymore. We in Kiwiland call them 'Plant Pests' I know that cos I did a course and they told me! By calling them plant pests they can eradicate lovely edible pretty old nasturtiums, those pretty feathery pampas grass that people in Surrey grow in their front gardens and the scary, nasty threatening blackberry bush, amongst others!

Any road up, back to my thistle Today I pulled out an entire trailer of the stuff. Not just your common or garden Thistle! I have every variety! George Bush's favourite; the Californian Thistle, the Nodding variety, Scots thistle (which they often irritatingly called "Scotch Thistle" over here and Plumeless ones too. I have arms like a pin-cushion and a lovely builder's bottom type red burnt stripe between my shorts and my T-shirt. My Goblin I'm attractive!

Now I was told confidently that goats would eat the thistle! Yeah right! I have the most spoiled goats in the World. Billy Muggins finally decided today that if I was 'eating' it then it might be worth a try but the silly object nibbled the flowers and then spat them out on the field to re-seed and went back to chewing Honey-horse's tail (they are in the throws of a tempestuous love affair. Anyone want a Hoat?)