When leaping out to get some cash to pay the farrier this morning I switched on National Radio. A Lovely plummy Hingerlish lady - a (quote) "filmaker from London" was pleading for a Gordon Brown Looky-Likeys to e-mail her.
They have apparently scoured England and Scotland for someone with "brooding looks" and a "Heathcliffe quality" but can't quite match him. They have searched "butcher's shops, dairy farms, and lots of places where people who eat well might be" WHAT? 
The Motherland is being run by an over-indulgent Heathcliffe character who hangs about in Butcher shops and Dairy Farms?
They apparently went to Glasgow but due to a "bad case of rickets" the inhabitants were all too small. Is this a recent epidemic of rickets? Or are we referring to a particularly virulent episode in the 1800's which has affected the entire population for generations? I am surprised Celtic or Rangers ever manage to win a game with such a heritage 
Well, our plummy friend went on to say that she has even extended their search as far as Fife (so that's the whole of Scotland covered then 
) but to no avail and they are wondering whether he has Russian blood. Presumably all other Celtic communities have been excluded - We're just sticking to Scotland and Russia then eh?
Anybody from Kiwiland who feels that they resemble our esteemed leader (for we are renowned for our vast Russian ghettos) is asked to contact said film-maker immediately.
Damn! I wish I had known. There was a massive Scottish Heritage stand at the Agricultural Show yesterday I could have recruited for her and, just to save time, I would have weeded out the ricket-ridden Glaswegians for no extra charge 
These are very obviously desperate times 
loiswakeman
This has been plugged on the Politics Show on BBC TV too - what a waste of airspace! I have no idea what they are going to do to this ersatz PM - perhaps re-enact The Wicker Man or something?